ohhhhh look at me i’m a straight teenage boy and i feel the need to jump and touch the doorframe every time I walk through it
Oh my GOD
My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes “like a cheaply made castle” and we were like what and he goes “no ballroom”
omfg i let my 9 year old cousin use my laptop and now look at my history
Little knitted pigeon enjoying come crisps on the pavement…
I thought that only the bag of chips was knitted so I was like lmaoo fucking idiot bird got owned then I saw that the bird was knitted as well then I realized I was the fucking idiot bird getting owned
police officer: you’re under arrest.
me: im rubber, you’re glue. what bounces off of me sticks to you(:
police officer: fuck
IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”
oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:
cracks me up every time
raising awareness for turtle bullying.
a growing problem.
A very slowly growing problem.
This gets funnier and funnier every time I see it